Hi my name is Kayela and I am the mother of two beautiful crazy boys. Aside from my full time job as a mother, wife, housekeeper, chef, (and everything else that come with the job) I also work from home as a freelance artist and photographer.
Raising two boys has been the most terrifying, exciting, rewarding, exhausting, and wonderful experience of my life. Kids have a way of exhausting the most extreme ends of the spectrum of every possible emotion. And yet somehow, at the end of the day, when I tuck those tiny little bodies under their cozy superhero covers and kiss their soft little heads as I brush my hands through their silky strands of hair… it’s soo worth it. Motherhood is an extraordinary experience in ways that are indescribable by words.
I LOVE being a mom.
But on that note, I still struggle. It’s really hard sometimes. One of the things that I have found most challenging in my career as a mother is trying to find a perfect way to balancing kids, husband, work, housekeeping, health, social life (what’s that?) and all the other aspects that make up a healthy life style.
Sometimes I watch Fitness Mom waking up at 5 am to get her 2 hour workout done just in time to greet her waking children with a balanced breakfast complete with some sort of organic green smoothie and gluten free pancakes before they all head off to the park together.
I need to start working out more.
Crafty mom, with her perfect home decorated from head to toe with every element and every piece of furniture so perfectly complimenting everything else in the room that I start to doubt that my human mind is even capable of putting together such an overwhelming task. My family is just lucky that we actually have a few pictures on the wall. And not to mention that no matter what odd hour I happen to drop by, her house is still amazingly spotless. I doubt that even a spec of dust would dare be so bold as to sit itself on the highest most hidden corner of her home, because it knows she would ruthlessly hunt it down find it.
Ugh! My house is so disgusting.
Super Involved Mom takes her kids everywhere and it never seems to take a toll on her. They help her clean, help her bake. According to Facebook it looks like this is 3rd museum they’ve been to this month and now she has them making some adorable art project worthy of Pinterest while she finishes her gourmet home cooked meal for dinner using some sort of exotic ingredients that I’ve never even heard of but I’m sure she got them on sale because she never pays full price for anything and somehow due to her obsession with couponing, she actually makes money buying groceries.
I need to spend more time with my kids. I need to be more involved. And I feel guilty because sometimes I just need a break from them. Not to mention it’s already 5:00 and I still have no idea what I’m making for dinner.
Career Mom, Fashionista Mom, Super-Organized Mom, the list goes on and on and on…
I admire them all… So I try to be all of those things.
I want to have the best of all worlds, a clean peaceful house, happy kids, a thriving career, and still fit into my jeans from high school. I work from the moment I wake up till long after the kids have drifted off to dream land for the night. I work all DAY LONG, to be ALL of those things.
But then I fall short... And by fall short, I mean I fail miserably.
I miss deadlines for work because the baby has a cold and missed his nap. And despite the fact that I stayed up working till 3 am, I still can’t seem to find enough hours in the day to finish what I need to.
I went to Hobby Lobby and spent a few hard earned dollars on some decorations in an effort to transform my kitchen to a level that could maybe possibly be competitive to that of Crafty Mom, but instead I just sat on the couch and cried because when I finally got it all put together it looked like a horrible clashing mess... And I just really wanted to take a nap.
And let’s be honest, even if I had the style to be Fashionista Mom, my budget wouldn't support it. Maybe if I could manage my money more like Thrifty Mom?
But then through all the doubts, self-criticizing, and resentment towards my own shortcomings, there are those moments...
You know the ones I’m talking about…
Like the time when I caught my 3 year old trying to sound out the letters A-N-D-Y on the bottom of Buzz Lightyear’s foot. Or when my one year old began to cry after bumping his head on the wall and his big brother rushed to his side, comforting him with a big hug and a tender kiss. When I hear those tiny little voices echoing “Stop!” and “Gooooo!” in the back seat of the car as they watch the lights turn from red to green.
Every time I hear them giggle and laugh at their own silly little inside jokes... the kind of jokes that only toddlers would understand, and when they follow each other around the house and wrestle and play, I watch with each growing step as they become closer and better friends.
It's moments like those, when I start to realize that despite my many unavoidable flaws, they might actually still turn out to be pretty decent human beings. It's amazing how they're flexible that.
So you might not be ultimate fitness mom and your house really only gets clean when you have people coming over, but maybe that's exactly what your kids need? My husband always says that perfection is a balance, not an extreme. So maybe the perfect mom isn't the lady who has her kids eating an all-natural, organic balanced meal EVERY SINGLE DAY, or the mom whose shiny kitchen floor actually seems to repel dirt. Maybe the perfect mom is actually somewhere in between those things?
You’re going to make mistakes, that’s fine. Guess what? Your kids are going to make mistakes too… maybe it's actually a good thing for them to see that it's okay to be human. They'll watch you fail over and over but still get up and try again tomorrow as you slowly map out the path for them to follow when they begin the process of recovery from their own mistakes. They'll see your perseverance, your determination, and your dedication as you strive to become a little better each day and give your family the best you have to offer. They'll watch as you set your priorities and sometimes let the little things go in order to make room for the some times subtler, yet more meaningful things in life. They'll see that you left the laundry unfolded again today, but what they'll really remember is that you stepped away from your chores just to play Darth Vader for a few minutes in their Jedi scene.
So maybe you don't actually have to be "supermom" because the mom that your kids really need, isn't supernatural. She's human. Just like the amazing kids she's trying to raise. She makes mistakes, she forgets things, and sometimes she slacks and fails to meet the standards she set for herself. But despite all her failures, she gets up the next day, brushes herself off and takes on the day again. And it’s possible that those empty holes if her life, those little places that she never seems to be able to fill, those areas that despite her best efforts, she always come up short, those spaces might actually leave more room for her kids to grow and become a little better themselves. And maybe that’s what really makes her a perfect mom.
Kayela Larsen
http://kayelal.blogspot.com/
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