As a new mom I was thrilled the day I found a pacifier that my baby girl would take (she only liked the MAM brand… picky picky) … and like magic, she would fall asleep! It became part of her bedtime/nap routine, all I had to do was give her her “bink” and blankie and she would happily lay down to sleep! It was the perfect system. If she woke up in the middle of the night, I just had to pop the “bink” in, and she’d immediately calm down. We only gave it to her at naps and bedtime; not wanting her to become overly dependent on it. My daughter was never interested in her sucking her thumb, which at times I felt was both a blessing and a curse. In the long run I knew a pacifier would be easier to get rid of than trying to break a thumb sucking habit, but I’ll confess, there were times when I wished my baby could just stick her thumb in her mouth and fall back asleep all on her own.
At 18 months old she was becoming more and more attached to her "bink"; asking for it all the time, using it between naps, and throwing fits when I’d take it away. With baby #2 coming in four months, it dawned on me that if we didn’t wean her off the “bink" now, it was only going to get harder. If the new baby takes a pacifier, it won’t matter if we take hers away, she’d just take the baby’s (I’ve already caught her stealing other babies pacifiers at playgroups)…and eventually I’ll have a 4 or 5 year old still wandering around with a pacifier in mouth.
It was time to say bye to the “bink.” So I started asking fellow mamma’s about how they went about getting rid of their child’s pacifier. One friend who swore by taking it away cold turkey said that it was harder on her than her daughter. In my head I thought “that’s silly, I’m not the one addicted to a pacifier…my baby is.” Now I understand what she meant.
Asking around on Facebook, I heard some awesome ideas and advice on how to wean my girl off the “bink!” Here are some of my favorites:
"I sat my kiddos down, took a pair of scissors, and cut the nipple off in front of them. They tried to suck it and couldn't. That was the end.” - Michelle
"We did it cold turkey. We just took it away. We had a couple rough days, but so worth it. I also heard of someone who tied them to balloons and floated them to the babies in heaven that needed them more. I thought that was sweet.” - Kelsie
"We made a big deal about saying bye to the bubbie and went to build a bear and they got to put it inside a chosen animal. I thought my son would cut it open because he was a hardcore addict but he didnt and 7 years later he still tells people his bubbie is inside his dinosaur lol.” - Amy
"I've heard of people cutting off the tip a little by little. Eventually it becomes "unsuckable" and they lose interest. Trim it each day. When it's deemed unusable, let them throw it away! Then call them a big kid and congratulate them!” - Jenny
"I just straight up took it away one day and my son could have cared less.” - Sarah
I loved the idea of doing something creative like tying them to balloons and sending them to the babies in Heaven or putting it in a Build-A-Bear toy, but I wasn’t sure my daughter was old enough to understand any in-depth explanation and unfortunately we don’t have a Build-A-Bear on the island. So I looked at the ‘cold turkey’ method. I wanted to be that strong mom who could just take it away and be done with it, but I started thinking about the late nights and the idea of NOT being able to just give her a pacifier and it scared me. I love my sleep (especially now when I’m pregnant)!
Another nagging factor was our neighbors; it’s too expensive to run the AC here in Hawaii so everyone leaves their windows open, along with the houses being so close together, sound carries EXTREMELY well! Most of our neighbors are understanding of our daughter crying sometimes, but the ones directly behind us are not so tolerant and have yelled at us several times after only a minute of her crying. What if she cried all night and can’t fall asleep without her bink? My neighbors would really freak out!
So I took a more gradual approach. We started by taking it away during the day; most of our neighbors are at work so if she had to “cry it out” for naps it wasn’t a big deal. Surprisingly she did fairly well without it during the day. She would still ask for it often and cry for a few minutes when I said it was gone, but it was easy enough to distract her. After two weeks of this, we started taking it away at night. This part was harder. She’d fuss longer and eventually fall asleep, but when she’d wake up in the middle of the night and we said it was gone we’d be up for what seemed like FOREVER trying to get her to go back to sleep. Most of the time, I’d just say “to heck with the neighbors” and let her cry. We did have a few back sliding moments when my husband gave in to his baby girl when Mamma was gone (she’s got Daddy wrapped around her finger). But for the most part, we stayed strong.
About a week ago I started letting her take a toy or stuffed animal to bed. At first she would still cry for a few minutes, then would remember her toy and start playing. Sometimes we’ll hear her playing in her crib for almost a half hour before actually going to sleep…but as long as it keeps the peace I don’t mind. The last few nights, however, she hasn’t protested going to bed at all… just happily lays down with her toys, plays for 5 minutes, and goes to sleep. I feel like I can officially say we’re over the “bink” now! It's been at least a week since she has asked for the "bink!" VICTORY!!!
I’m a little embarrassed that it took a month to go through that process… my friend was right, it was definitely harder for me to let go than it was for my daughter. Overall, it wasn’t as bad as I imagined though. So for any other Mammas out there dreading the day you have to say “bye to the bink,” I can tell you it’s really not that bad. I think most kids get over the loss faster than we expect.
My method may not be the best, but it worked. If anyone else has heard of or tried other methods on how to say bye to the binky, please share!
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