Why I Totally Meant To Have Lots of Kids

       

Okay. So, I split this post into two sections. First, I want to start out with my completely rational and totally sane (bahahaha) reasons for having a big family and then follow that up with all churchy stuff that most people expect to hear, as to why someone would have so many kids.
    So let me start by saying that the title of my post is a complete lie. Yup.
    Motherhood has been a complete accident for me. Seriously, if you were to ask either my husband or me how many kids we "tried" to have, we would both say only one pregnancy was on purpose, but we would pick different pregnancies. Talk about poor communication. Anyways, it all turned out for the best. We started young and it just kept happening so here we are, 10 years later and 6 fantastic kids.
   Let us first address the elephant in the room..... or blog.....page.....whatever! Yes, we know how babies are made and we are obviously huge fans. No, we don't need a t.v. in our room, but thanks for the suggestion.  I would also like to say that Ross explains it best ( gotta watch the clip) and that my experience as a nurse has scared me away from all surgical procedures not not
 necessary for sustaining life.

       Besides, just looking at pictures like this, make me want to chase my husband around the house. Look at those squishy cheeks and and those pouty lips.....And the baby is cute too (like you didn't see that coming).

Our first pregnancy completely blind sided us. We were freshman in college and totally not ready for parenthood, but apparently it was ready
for us. It was a horrible pregnancy and she was a colicky baby. One month after N was born, I decided I was a "one and done" kind of mom. I felt awkward and useless and completely frustrated at myself for not being able to figure out how to make her happy or even get her to sleep more then an hour. Just about the time I finally get her to sleep 3 hours in a row (5 months) I found out I was pregnant again. I literally laughed the scary crazy person laugh when the pregnancy test showed up positive. After another horrible pregnancy, I got to bring home this beautiful angel B, that loved to sleep ALL DAY. And then, the moment that changed everything for me. I was sitting in my recliner, trying to nurse this sleepy baby and  N comes over and tries to crawl up into the chair with us. As I pull her up on my lap and situate B so that the big sister can see her, N looks at her baby sister and then looks up at me with this look of pure amazement and love. I literally saw in her eyes, in that one moment, everything that motherhood was supposed to be and it changed me. Those two girls have been inseparable ever since.
          I had always had a poor view on motherhood. growing up. It just didn't seem fun or exciting. Actually, I didn't see anything good about it at all. To me, motherhood was just that thing that made you get fat, lose your sense of style, made you grouchy and tired, took your life and energy away from you, and made you that lady who was always yelling at some dirty kid for ruining your life, marriage, and any chance for getting a real job. Ya. I thought it was that bad. I still I would be a mom one day. I figured that was just the penance I had to pay for at one time being that child who stole someone else's "real" life away. Motherhood was just that thing you did because you were supposed to do it. Like laundry, it stinks but you take care of it.
         But when N looked at me with that amazement of life and the love she instantly had because that was HER sister, I got it.
          Motherhood was't about them, it was about me. Now I know that sounds all wrong, so let me explain.
       
     First, motherhood is really what you get out of it. I had always focused on what mother have to do and what they have to give up. But really, being a mom has added so much more good to my life. Each child has taught me something different. N was meant to be a big sister. She has adored each new baby we have brought home. She begs to hold them, she sings to them, feeds them, and even changes diapers. When someone in our house gets hurt, she often beats me to the hurt child, immediately dropping whatever she is doing, wraps her arms around them and comforts them until I can take over. She has taught me that caring for others is a choice. It is not something she learned from watching me or John, but something she chooses to do, to show her family members she loves them.
 

 B has taught me that laughter fixes almost anything. She will pull out the craziest faces and noises imaginable to cheer up a younger sibling or to diffuse any tension in the house. She is the queen of crazy dance moves and silly song lyrics. J has to taught me that the best way to be a better person is to believe in myself and that tomorrow is always a new day. At my lowest moments, when I am most disappointed in the job I am doing as a mom, he will randomly tell me " Your the best mom ever", and I believe him, so I do better. C has taught me that life is a fight worth fighting for. She has had to fight for her life more times then any toddler should have to and is stronger because of it. I have learned more about will power from her then from anyone else. I have also learned that we fight for those we love.



      K has taught me that it is okay to be vulnerable, that it is okay to cry sometimes and that hugs even heal emotional boo-boos. A has showed me what me what it means to be a sibling. The excitement in her eyes when she sees any of her 5 sibling coming towards her shows me that no matter how many times she has been knocked over or hugged a little too rough, she knows they mean well and she loves them anyways. She forgets quickly and moves on, a lesson I am still trying to learn.


    Second, I grew up with very little family around. My husband grew up with tons of family. When I started dating him, I was overwhelmed at the number of people that he had to kiss goodbye before he was allowed to leave a party. But I loved it! The idea that there were that many people in your corner, cheering you on in life, praying for you to make it, it was amazing. When I saw how much N loved her little sister instantly, I wanted more of that love in my life, in her life, in our lives. I have learned that with each child my loves has not been divided, but multiplied. Who wouldn't want more love?!

    Who would have thought, that by putting all of myself into this role, I would find myself.

      Third, (here is the churchy stuff) before each child was born, I had these moments when I felt someone was missing. I would literally look around the room, count kids, try and figure out why I felt there was someone not "here" that was supposed to be here. It's a strange feeling that I am not sure most people can understand, but it's just the way I have felt. John has had those same feelings and we have even had our parents look around the room sometimes and say "Are all the kids here? I feel like someone is missing." As someone who believes in a pre-existence, I have felt that I have had children waiting to join our family. Each child has fit like the missing piece to our puzzle. They were totally meant to be "here", in our family. I wish I knew what size puzzle we are but I don't. Maybe our puzzle is finished.
    Not enough to convince you that I am not crazy for having so many kids? Here is a few more reasons.
1. Parenthood is the amplifier of life. It takes every human relationship possible and packages it up into one tiny human. If you let it, parenthood. will teach you how to handle any human interaction you could ever encounter.
   Example. Demanding boss. You will never have a more demanding boss then the baby who not only relies on you for every function necessary for sustaining life but demands your assistance by screaming at the top of their lungs while turning red in the face and flailing all appendages wildly in the air. The wailing alone sends this mixed torture of emotions that varies from utter doom and failure to exploding frustrating anger.
Example 2. Annoying co-worker. Parenthood eventually dulls your sense of smell and fine-tunes your selective hearing so well that you may not even notice the loud chewing in the cubicle, the bad "what-I-did" last weekend stories at lunch, or the poor soul who ate way too much garlic last night.
Example 3. Parents. You will never look at your parents or any parents the same way again. Again though, the wide array of emotions that you will experience just by looking at other parents will range from complete admiration to pity and even terror as you realize that "those people's" offspring could quite possibly ended up in your child's dating pool one day.
Example 4. Siblings. Parenthood can give you greater appreciation for the oldest sibling who was the "test" child. It all now makes sense why they end up being so stubborn and big headed. They had to be to survive all the parental mistakes! And of course the middle child ended up with issues, they were the child your poor parents had to "fix" all the mistakes the first go around with! And I bet you will gain a profound sense of pity for that crazy "baby of the family". You can understand why your parents were just too tired to put any real effort in by the time that kid came along.
2. Taxes. Do I really need to explain this one. From a financial perspective, kids make sense.  Kids save you so much money in taxes.
3. We all know why our parents really had us. Free child labor. I think they had the right idea. Who wants to have to do their own dishes or cut their own grass for the rest of their life?
4. Have issues with stage fright? Have a lot of kids. The amount of people staring at you wherever you go will get you over that fear real quick.
5. No retirement plan? Have a lot of kids. One of them is bound to make it big. A doctor, actor, or an athlete. The money will be there.
   All jokes aside, I love this crazy life. I have had the single life. I have had the career. I have had the small family and now the big one and it has only gotten better. I know that it's not for everyone but I love it.